How to Spot the Signs of Domestic Abuse in a Relationship

Domestic abuse is a serious issue that affects many people in the United States. When someone is in an abusive relationship, they might not realize it. In fact, in the early stages of a relationship, many abusive people appear to be ideal partners. At the start of a new relationship, it’s not always easy to tell if the relationship will eventually become abusive. Whether you are in an abusive relationship, or someone on the outside looking in, seeing and understanding the warning signs of domestic abuse can become difficult.

Common Warning Signs of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse can include physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or financial abuse – and it can happen to anyone. It is not always clear that someone is being abused or abusive, especially if it’s not physical. However, spotting the signs of domestic abuse is essential to stop it from happening.

Watching for the following signs is how to spot a domestic abuser:

• Physical signs – Accidents happen. But if someone loses their temper and hits their partner, that is a sign they are abusive. Many abusers promise never to get physical again. Unfortunately, this is part of the manipulation, and the abuse could worsen.
• Emotional signs – Extreme jealousy is a red flag that someone may be abusive. Abusers often do not want to share what they see as theirs. Jealousy can cause violence and controlling behaviors. When people start a relationship, they want to spend all their time together. But if someone starts seeming anxious or depressed around their partner or their self-esteem has changed since the relationship started, it’s a sign they may be experiencing a form of domestic abuse.
• Verbal signs – Abusers often want to feel in control and try to make their partners feel inadequate. As a result, some abusers will constantly belittle their partners with insults and put-downs to lower their partner’s self-esteem.
• Sexual signs – People should feel safe and loved in their relationships. Abusers will often make unwanted sexual advances that make their partners feel uncomfortable. These advances can be made by force or coercion, often making the abused partner feel guilty or inadequate if they don’t agree. They might try to make the abused partner feel that they are “owed” sexual acts.
• Financial signs – Abusers often want complete control so their partners cannot leave. They may control their partner’s access to money, hoping they become completely dependent.
• Controlling signs – Abusers often want to limit the people their partner talks to because they don’t want outsiders pointing out their flaws and issues. When someone manipulates another person into cutting off friends and family, it can be a sign that they are an abuser. When they do not allow you to make decisions about your employment or education, that can also be a sign that they are an abuser.

How to Help Someone in Need After Spotting Domestic Abuse

People deal with things differently. But when someone is experiencing domestic abuse, they need to feel safe and supported. Some ways that you can help are:

• Listen – When someone is being abused, they need someone who will listen without judgment. Being this support system can help them feel safe.
• Validate – You may not always agree with the reasoning or explanations, but the victim’s feelings are important and should be validated. They need to know it’s not their fault and they deserve better.
• Offer help – You should provide resources to help the victim, such as hotlines and shelters. It is critical to let them know they are not alone and help is available.
• Develop a safety plan – Often, the victim cannot financially or mentally leave immediately, so you could help create a safety plan. The safety plan should include all immediately necessary personal items and a safe place where the victim can go.
• Respect boundaries – It is critical to respect the victim’s boundaries. You cannot force them to do anything. Supporting them is all you can do. Don’t push them or disclose their situation without permission.

Talk to an Experienced Family Law Attorney in Traverse City, Michigan Today

When someone is experiencing domestic abuse, it is essential to seek legal advice. A skilled and knowledgeable family law attorney can help the victim understand their legal rights and options. They can also obtain protective orders when needed and handle divorce and child custody proceedings on the victim’s behalf.

Contact the Traverse City family law attorneys of Alward Fisher today for a free and confidential consultation.

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse, you can also seek help immediately from the National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233.